Fears Before Surgery 07/02/13

And now we will jump back in time to when I originally wrote the following entry–7/2/13, three days before surgery:

I’ve never had surgery so I’m pretty nervous. I’m glad that this will be repaired properly after three weeks of waiting. I vow to be extremely compliant in whatever they tell me to do. My goal is to heal completely and have 100% function in my foot after all this. I have no idea what I am going to do for the next three months while I recover. I am unable to do any of my three jobs, which all involve a great deal of walking and driving—the two things I cannot do. Luckily, I have a fantastic circle of friends and my two sisters whom have offered to help me.

I’ve been non-weight bearing now for the last three weeks. I can tell that my right leg is already atrophying. I know I can’t focus on working out right now. It makes me anxious that I can’t exercise and I need to have a plan in place so my leg isn’t a total flabby stick after 4-5 months of no exercise. I will ask my doctors what I can do when the time is right.

I fear for what the future will bring. Without the ability to exercise regularly, I am afraid that depression will creep in and take over me. Not to mention the isolation that I’m already experiencing. I get out as much as I can but the days can be long without a whole lot to do and no company but Vlad. I’m reading about 7 different books right now due to my inability to concentrate. The surgeon told me I need to elevate and ice as much as possible in order to reduce the swelling before the surgery. I have been compliant and found there is not a whole lot I can do with my leg above my head for the better part of the day and night.

Mostly, I do not think about the future. I trust that it will all work out and the friends and family I have will help take care of me. That is how I keep my sanity. That, and just taking every moment as it comes. I’ve been in the house for almost two days and cabin fever is descending upon me. What do you do when you are essentially bed (couch) ridden for an extended period of time?

Updated answer on 08/11/13: A month later, start this blog and share your hopes, fears and strategies for dealing with a long recovery.

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